


The Petty Things

by Lackyducks



Series: This Madness of a City [5]
Category: Rooster Teeth/Achievement Hunter/Funhaus RPF
Genre: Discussions of gayness, Fluff without Plot, Multi, one gender based joke
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-06-02
Updated: 2016-06-02
Packaged: 2018-07-11 17:30:02
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,107
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7062619
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lackyducks/pseuds/Lackyducks
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Living in Los Santos isn't always adrenalin and crime. Sometimes it's quiet nights of work and arguing about how gay you are. Sometimes that.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Petty Things

**Author's Note:**

> This spawned from the first lines of dialogue. There isn't even any plot it just, exists? But it's 2000 words so maybe there's someone who'll enjoy it.

“I will have you know I am the straightest person in the relationship.” Elyse states, firmly. They're arguing - about something. Well they  _ were _ .

“You are in a relationship with four other girls!” Joel protests, waving his hands. Elyse tuts at him, dramatically. 

“It's  _ five  _ and don't you bring my girls into this motherfucker!” She exclaims, her voice somehow still managing to be cool and calm. Joel opens his mouth and she speaks again, “I said  _ this  _ relationship.” Joel shuts his mouth, instead resorts to pouting at her and looking to the others for support. He finds none, instead gets Adam shrugging as he continues his work.

“I mean, out of all of us she is the only straight one.” He offers, noncommittally.

“Adam Kovic, I will have you know I am so far from straight I've become a flexi-ruler.” Elyse says, her tone completely serious. Across the room, Bruce cracks into one of his wheezing laughs. It's enough to make Sean laugh, too. Joel rolls his eyes again, walking away and sitting at Matt's feet in a strop. Matt's working on his tablet, but he rests it on the sofa's arm to rub his fingers through Joel’s hair.

“At least Matt loves me.” He mutters, although it's more of a stage-mutter, and Elyse rolls her eyes as she settles back at her laptop. 

“He's like a cat.” She declares to no one, “He gets told off and immediately seeks someone else to get attention.” James walks behind her, pulls her into his chest with a laugh. She tilts her head up at him, smiling. 

“And you don't?” He asks her. She narrows her eyes, instead tries to reach around and hit him. James yelps, jumps back as she grins, leaping over her chair to try and grab him. It's at this moment, as Elyse presses down on the top of her chair and James stumbles backwards, that Lawrence walks in. He looks at all of them, shakes his head as he walks around the mess of Willemses on the floor. James makes a sorrowful noise as he tries to reach Lawrence. 

“You did this to yourself.” Lawrence says, simply, as he steps over his hand. James whines, lets Elyse roll him over. She grins down at him, holding his wrists at his sides. He could easily break out of her grip, she knows. But, he isn't, so she leans down, starts laying slobbery kisses to his neck. James squeals, actually _squeals_ as he half heartedly tries to throw her off.

“No! I married you ‘cause I liked you best!” James protests, squirming beneath her as she laughs.

“Hey guys, since he apparently doesn't like you, wanna come over here too?” Elyse calls out to the room. It's barely a second before Bruce has bolted to join them on the floor. Joel looks like he's weighing the pros and cons of it. A glance up to Matt reveals his priorities. Sean however, does come. He plops down and shuffles James’ head into his lap. Then, he takes after Matt, and simply plays with his hair. Elyse looks up for only a second to smile at him before returning to attacking James’ left side (Bruce claimed the right one. He's more teasing than Elyse.)

“Wait!” Joel suddenly interrupts, standing up. Matt jumps back away from him, his hand raising to his heart. He buries his face forward into his hoodie and Joel turns apologetically. “Sorry Matt.”

“I don't think I want to know if it means you scare poor Matty.” Elyse tells him, with a glare. 

Joel holds his hands up, ready to protest as Matt says, “It's fine - really.” Elyse holds one finger up, over Matt's lips, despite the room between them.

She shushes him, “Matt, Matty, Matt.” She lowers her hand to smile over it, “Please just let me shit on Joel’s day.” Matt seems conflicted for a moment before realising there's no real ill intent behind her words. So he just nods and looks back to his tablet. Elyse grins widely at Joel, and Joel doesn't need his years of experience to realise that is  _ not _ a friendly smile. 

“Okay, my point is perfectly valid and,” He stutters, something Elyse’s face brightens at, “Please stop smiling like that, that's the ‘I am going to get uncomfortably close to you to the point of harassment’ smile, please stop it.” Bruce laughs against James, pulling a squeak out of him. 

“Aw, Joel, you consider our love harassment?” Elyse pouts, and Bruce continues laughing. Joel goes through a number of expressions, namely confusion and shock.

“No... stop putting words in my mouth and let me say my point!” He finally catches on. Elyse laughs at the fake anger in his eyes. She holds one of her hands up, the other gently caressing James’ wrist. Her palm is outstretched toward Joel, a picture of guilty innocence. 

“You've been doing it yourself.” She points out. Joel frowns at her.

“That is a lie and-” He drops into a whisper, “You're doing it again.” 

“Hey Joel, are you sure we should be sending you as our front man? You seem to be pretty easily manipulated.” Adam calls across the room. James opens his mouth, likely to add another insult, but is instead occupied by Bruce’s mouth.

“Why are you helping  _ her _ , you should be helping  **me** .” Joel motions at himself, holding his hands on his chest. Elyse manages to spot Matt's smile from behind Joel. Even with his head tilted down towards the tablet, she could see it. Good.

“His points are valid!” Lawrence yells in defence of Adam. Adam nods decisively at the statement. Joel makes a fake pained noise.

“I was going to say,” Joel speaks slowly, “That Elyse isn't straight in this relationship because Lawrence is agendered!” It takes a moment for them all to understand this information, and Sean makes a small, content noise when he finally does.

“She is still _technically_ the straightest in our relationship.” James points out, from the floor - now Bruce has pulled away.

“Lawrence as well.” Matt adds, quietly. Everyone turns to look at him, confusion and surprise in each of their expressions. Matt looks up from his tablet and scrunches his face at them. “They're both dating two genders, right?” Once again, everybody has to understand this new revelation. Elyse looks up to Lawrence, beams at him.

“Larr! We're the straightest!” She cheers. Lawrence doesn't look up.

“You're still the straightest.” He replies. 

“What?! I trusted you!” She exclaims, her expression carefully crafted into hurt. 

Lawrence shrugs, “You're cis. I'm not. What else can I say?” 

Sean sits back slightly, calls out to the room, “Are there any other genders we should know about?” It raises a few laughs, mostly from Elyse and Bruce.

“I identify as an attack helicopter.” James adds, helpfully. Elyse narrows her eyes, reminded once more of her current mission to make James suffer.

“You identify as a  _ bitch _ .” She tells him. Matt, of all people, is the one who chuckles, hiding it in his sleeve. Joel has finally settled again. He's moved from Matt's feet to instead lie across his lap. His eyes droop, and Elyse guesses he won't be awake much longer. A glance confirms that it's nearing midnight at their small heist planning office. She frowns and Bruce follows her eyes.

“Shit, it's already midnight?” He asks, though none of them need to respond. Everybody checks their nearest time telling source - even Lawrence, who already knew. 

“Are we sleeping here tonight?” Sean asks what they were all thinking. Each of them share glances, unbothered shrugs or nods. Elyse finally stands, offers hands to Sean and Bruce. Bruce then offers one to James as Elyse leads the way to the back room.

* * *

 

Getting their small space set up isn't hard and yet is. It's something they've done so many times that it's become routine. This doesn't stop it being an irritatingly long process. James carrying an asleep Joel probably doesn't help - even though they were at least able to change Joel into sleep clothes. It's rare they weren’t decently dressed here, it would never feel as safe as their home. The likelihood of them having to run out of either screaming was the same, but home always feels that bit more personal. It's surrounded by yourself, and the people you love. Any pain seems a world away. 

Elyse throws some pillows onto the bed, the other sofa-bed pushed next to it as Adam shoves more pillows into the gap between them. Sean stands to the side, rubbing his eyes with a yawn. His hat sits on one of the chairs, his clothes scruffily folded beneath them. Lawrence and Bruce brush their teeth in the small bathroom. Matt walks around the office, systematically checking each computer was backing up onto their external system at the RT base. The moment the bed’s finished, Elyse leaps onto it. She bounces, arms outstretched and face the image of picturesque content. Adam laughs, pulling her up.

“You still have to brush your teeth.” He reminds her and she groans.

“I don't care, I'm tired and comfy.” She complains. Adam shakes his head with a fond smile as he continues to tug at her arm. She finally relents and Bruce helps James settle Joel into her space. Joel whines unconsciously as James pulls away, arms lifting towards him. Bruce just pats James’ shoulder and slides in around Joel. James heads to the bathroom just as Joel snuggles back into Bruce. Sean follows James out of the room. Bruce then looks up over Joel’s hair.

“You planning to sleep tonight, Matt?” He asks. Matt jumps. He looks at Bruce and then at himself.

“I, yes.” He nods, “Just - my binder, I'm not sure…” He finally trails off. Bruce’s face darkens slightly in concern.

“Do you have a hoodie with you?” He asks.

Matt shakes his head, “It's in the car.” Bruce carefully climbs back out of the bed as Joel curls in on the warmth he left.

“Let's go get it then.” Bruce gestures to the door. Matt stands still, mouth open in surprise for longer than a second.

“You don't have to, I can just-”

“You can just _nothing_ , Matt. Come on.” It's spoken firmly. It's not in a warning tone but that of a parent, reassuring a child. Matt smiles, walks quickly so he can be cuddled into Bruce’s side. Adam peers around the bathroom door as they leave.

“Where you going?” He asks around his mouth full of toothpaste.

“Car, we'll only be a moment.” Bruce assures him. Adam gives him a thumbs up. 

By the time the two return, everyone's piled into the bed. Bruce helps Matt get ready in the bathroom, the experience of having lived together alone bringing them close. They walk out hand in hand and Lawrence pats the empty space left for them. It's a tight squeeze but they're comfortable anyway. Adam lies on the far end of the bed, encompassing Joel. Elyse takes up Joel’s other side and her hand holds James', who lies next to her. Across the gap none of them sleep in but one of them will end up in anyway, Sean is tucked under Lawrence’s chin. He seems more asleep than Joel does, though Joel appears to be marginally more conscious now. Once Bruce and Matt have settled, they fall into silence. The gentle sound of breathing and a ticking clock is all that fills the room. Outside there are cars, sirens, but none of that matters in here. Here, Matt's content sigh puts them all at peace, drops them into sleep.

“Elyse?” Joel whispers, voice deep and tired.

“Yeah buddy?” She replies, blinking open her tired eyes.

“I love you. Even if you're the straightest.” He mutters, eyes slipping shut again. Elyse laughs, soft as she pecks a gentle kiss to his lips. Joel smiles.

“And I love you even if you're really fucking gay.” She says. 

Joel nods, “We're all gay together.”

“Yeah we are.” The two smile at each other with barely open eyes. “Goodnight.” Elyse whispers, a little louder. 

“Good dreams.” Is the immediate reply from Matt. Adam has the very slightest laugh.

“Night.” He adds.

"Sleep tight." Lawrence murmurs. 

“See you in the morning.” Bruce says.

“Love you all.” James finishes, because Joel’s already fallen back into sleep. Tomorrow is a new day, with a heist plan to finish and meetings to attend but none of that matters yet. All that matters is each others’ warmth and each of them wondering how they could have got this lucky.

(Except Joel and Sean. They're sound asleep.)


End file.
